Let’s face it, we are human and humans have hormones. Keeping hormones in check can be difficult to say the least. And when those hormones get the best of someone you work with (especially if they are a friend), saying “no” maybe more difficult that you could have ever imagined. There are many reasons why it can be difficult to say no:
- You don’t want to offend anyone
- You like the person, but not in that way
- You don’t want to get on the bad side of the person
- It’s not really sexual harassment yet
- You don’t want to cause a scene
- You want to avoid filing a sexual harassment complaint
- and many more…
All of this adds up to us being more indirect than direct with our “no’s” which make it more difficult for the offending party to hear and understand that we are truly saying no. When we teach our sexual harassment classes we teach a simple technique to people who want to say no. It is this simple and direct technique that put’s it into the context of sexual harassment and drives home the point that we are not messing around here (pun intended). First we need to build up the courage to say no. And when we do, these three extra words make all the difference in the world and usually put a stop to the behavior. Here it is:
“This is my no” or How to say “no”
That’s right. Plain. Simple. Direct. And to the point. “This is my no” is a simple phrase that brings it home. It says listen up buddy, I am telling you no and I want you to hear me. I am not saying no because I am busy or not interested today. I am saying no, never, don’t ask me again. That type of no.
Next time you want to say no, give “This is my no” a try and then let us know how it worked by dropping us a comment below. Good luck out there.