The recent allegation levied by Ford is a sad and often seen outcome. In a moment when victims are at their weakest, most vulnerable position, there is no one there to help them. No one that can corroborate the heinous crime of sexual assault. No one to say ‘yes’ that happened. Unfortunately, the victim must obtain corroborate evidence during the event that can later be used to put the proverbial nail in the coffin of the assailant.
Bullying and Sexual Harassment Commonalities
For the past decade I have been delving into the risks of bullying and sexual harassment on separate and distinct tracks as well as how they overlap. There are some major commonalities between these two forms of intimidation and harassment. Namely its power and ego.
Many people believe that sexual harassment is about the lack of self control and fulfilling the sexual desires or lack of control of those desires. And while these are components of sexual harassment, the real issue when harassment moves to assault is power. It is the ego of that power. The power to control others. The power to have it all. The power to be on top and dominate others.
Fortunately, there is an answer
Fortunately, there is an answer to power and ego and it starts early with bullying. The answer also lends itself to corroborative evidence which further drives the nail in the coffin and ends the sexual harassment once and for all.
For years, I have been teaching sexual harassment courses in cities and schools and about three years ago I shifted my training to include this answer. The answer is always immediately seen with shock in our politically correct environment, but as I go onto explain why it is necessary you can see the air return to the room.
The answer is self defense
The answer is physical and it is violent. It is fighting back. I am not advocating violence for violence sake. And I am not recommending running around beating people up. What I am advocating is fighting back. But as Tim Larkin explains in his book when “violence is the answer” there are times in life when the only answer to you is violence and it is then that you must use it.
Fighting back is just about the only thing that a victim can do to stop a bullying. The story has been told a thousand times, bully picks on weakling, weakling finally has enough; weakling punches bully; all the bystanders laugh and disregard bully; weakling becomes hero. It works for bullies and sexual harassers are a type of bully.
When you are being sexually harassed the victim needs to make an hard impact either verbally or physically to the harasser. When the harasser turns physical, the victim must use self defense. The importance of self defense lies in the fact that most sexual assaults do not occur in the presence of others who can corroborate the act. Most are behind closed doors. So the only answer that works to generate corroborate evidence is to draw attention to it with self defense.
Yes, self defense is physically fighting back. It means kicking the person in the genitals, scratching their face, striking their face, breaking the window of their office or throwing all things off their desk. Let’s look at how this works.
Why it works
This works because when others see a man lying on the floor holding their privates they will ask “what happened?” When the commotion of a broken window or items flying off the desk happens, others will hear it and they will ask “what happened?” When a person comes out of their office with a bleeding face and a large scratch on their face, others will ask “what happened?” And all of that adds up to corroborative evidence.
In addition, the assailant will also have their ego broken and will fully understand that you are not someone that they can exert their power over.
Trust me. This works. Here’s to the end of sexual assault in the workplace.